When Funeral Marketing Turns Grief Into Greed

Another early weekday with a to-do list too long. Desperately needing an injection of caffeine to awaken my senses. As I waited for some water to boil, I found my phone. I’ve heard scrolling first thing in the morning decreases productivity and happiness, but here I was sliding my way down all six of my social media feeds.

I roll my eyes at yet another cringy TikTok dance, which is somehow an Instagram reel on my Facebook feed. The kids tell me this is culture. That and anime. An influencer suggests I close my eyes and take a deep breath when I’m stressed. I decide I’ll give it a try. A new study says people should wait at least ninety minutes after waking up to drink coffee. I take a sip from my mug. Those studies didn’t study me. And to put it lightly, I’m a tornado without my morning addiction. Partisan news sites fire off rage triggering content. Democracy was on the ballot this year. For the 60th time. But they really meant it this time…

A notification dings on my phone, pulling me away from my personal algorithm cafe. I nearly spit out my organic, sustainably sourced coffee when I read it.

Subject Line: Remembering John Price

Dear Brian Price,

Being remembered matters. The trees you planted last year in honor of a loved one were a meaningful tribute.

On the anniversary of John’s passing, share a memory or condolence and help others hold John a little closer in their hearts.

The reminder crushed me. A year ago, my grandpa died. Sadness, heartbreak, fear, and loss. I have complicated relationships in my family, and this email was a painful reminder of what I’ve lost and what hard choices I’ve had to make to preserve my own peace of mind.

It’s insanely tone-deaf to reduce death to an automated marketing email. Especially when the email includes a link to Legacy.com’s own version of Facebook for the deceased, where friends and families could share pictures and write comments on their dead loved one's page. Should I write, Happy Deathversary. Sorry I couldn’t make your funeral?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It didn’t de-stress me. The internet is full of shit.

What were the people at Legacy.com thinking? "Since you’re thinking about your deceased grandpa on the day he died, and don't forget the beautiful trees you planted in his honor through us, please click this link and write a memory, sentence, anything, please just use our service to ping family and friends. Maybe they’ll use our platform, too."

Someone was either too greedy, ignorant, or emotionally dead to realize how insensitive this tactic was and is. Hopefully, it wasn’t some poor soul’s attempt to save their job. Get more leads, send emails, or find new employment. I’ve been under that gun before. It’s hard to think straight with that type of pressure. Either way, no excuses, Legacy.com.

My thinking is that Big Funeral has had a major drop off since that big surge in clients a few years ago. Now they need “creative and innovative ways” to re-engage existing customers and get the customer base back to pandemic levels. People die every day. Why doesn’t Legacy.com have their loved one’s business? That's the problem Legacy.com is solving.

Man, that’s a tough business to navigate. Being delicate is a must. That's how “customers” should be treated. Not, hey remember when your grandpa died? No? Here’s a reminder at 8 am on a Tuesday. Guess they figure if grandpa is gone, grandma is most likely next. If Legacy.com gives a great experience, they can double their business when grandma croaks.

But I’m no saint.

Did I click all the links in the Legacy.com email? I did. It sucks what they did to me and I’m sure hundreds of others. I don’t want other people to experience that, but what else can I do? Complain? Report their business practices? Take them to task in a blog? By clicking the links in the email, the metrics will show Legacy.com that the tactic worked, so they’ll continue to do it. Eventually, they’ll piss off enough people and go out of business. At least that is the optimist in me. If you’re reading this and have a better idea, please share it.

I’m sure the Legacy.com Suits would disagree with my perspective saying the pages for the deceased and reminder emails on Death-anniversaries are to keep family and friends connected to their Heaven-bound loved one. But aren’t there better ways to remember someone than a business’s webpage or social media?

DING!

Another notification, this time from DoorDash. 50% off Dom's Bagels. Last week, at this exact time, I ordered a steak, egg, hashbrown, and cheese on a bagel from Dom's Bagels. Thanks for remembering last Monday's hangover DoorDash? Because nothing says “good morning” like an app that stalks your eating habits. But that's a story for a different time.