Job Hunting F*cking Sucks
A lack of laws and humanity leaves American workers at the mercy of potential employers.
I went to college on the promise that by earning my degree, I’d have access to world-changing jobs that would pay handsomely. Since graduating college, my net worth has been negative. I don’t even have a mortgage. Just another naive sucker who fell for the old American Dream. Nothing more than another millennial something crippled by debt, two once in a lifetime financial crisis, Mother Nature’s hot flashes, a worldwide pandemic, economic uncertainty and almost any other horror you can imagine. The only thing missing is a World War, which seems closer than it ever had been in my lifetime.
The best thing to do in these trying times is to earn money says the American. Can’t worry about the world when I got bills to pay. There’s not much I can do but try and produce. Earn. Get that cash. And I need to. Existence is expensive. Layoffs are everywhere as companies are hitting record profits and blaming inflation for their price gouging. Here I am struggling to find work in my career field, the one I have a degree in, I’ve accepted how terribly awful the whole process of finding a job is.
I understand the old motto, “take a job, any job” and the fact I’m being incredibly stubborn by trying to find a job in my career field, but I spent a lot of money on that degree, it should provide me with something. Maybe? Why would I go to college to take jobs that don’t require a college degree? Seems like a waste of money. Or entitlement by those who “paid their dues” to get “where they are.”
Damn that last paragraph screams entitled. Thousands of people have been out of work for years and desperate for any job. I’m bitching about not finding work in the field where I earned a degree. If I was in their shoes reading this, I’d be enraged. There’s nothing worse than an entitled writer. Well, besides celebrities’ trying-to-be-famous-too significant others. You know what I mean. The people that use their famous partner’s work to sell shit to the fans of their famous partner. The rich get richer. Even the newly loaded.
Back to applying for work in our digital and post-pandemic world. It’s always been terrible. Here’s a piece of paper, hire me. This is an entry level job but requires four years of experience. Unpaid internships. How much will you sacrifice to make it big? It all seems a bit shallow and disadvantageous. The whole job searching process is stacked against the unemployed.
Here’s how:
Application Process
Why are employers allowed to waste hours of job seekers time? For the privilege of earning a paycheck? I can’t even count the number of applications I’ve spent hours on to not even hear a “no thank you.” I’ve spent time on personality tests, writing assessments, certifications, and never even heard back from employers. In the moment I was fuming, but eventually I realized that helped me dodge many bullets. If you spend significant time trying to “earn a job” and the company ghosts you? That tells you everything I need to know about the company.
There are outliers. Early in my career I got an interview and small hyper local public relations agency. The owner gave me a writing assessment and paid me when I turned it in. He told me, “Your time is just as valuable as mine. You spent time on this at my request, you deserve to be paid.” My future boss handed me forty bucks for the hour-long test. It was a part-time gig, that I wish could have gone full-time, but the owner was a one-man shop who didn’t want to increase his profits but maintain.
Every job application that has an autofill resume, attach a resume, and then requires candidates to fill out forms and retype their resume should be banned from being able to hire anyone. It’s usually major corporations that require this because they know people will do it for a shot to work at a prestigious company. How bad do you want the job, Brian? Are you willing to type out your resume three times? will submit writing samples which we will use but not compensate you for whether or not we hire you?
I’m not that desperate.
At least not yet.
Poverty is a hell of a motivator. Makes for obedient employees, too. These unpaid tasks push out the “lazy” and the “critical thinkers.” This may be done on purpose. No shade to the people who answer employer questions on job applications, I’ve been there, it’s shameful and unnecessary behavior by employers.
Hidden Fees
In our world, especially in the corporate world, everyone is a brand. Or trying to be. Think of yourself as a business is what people in suits and on TV say. How would you present yourself? What are your hobbies? What do you post online? What are your views? What do you read? Where do you invest? It’s exhausting. But there is genius in it. If I am going to turn myself into a brand, I’m going to double down on it. No more wasting time and money on interviews that lead nowhere. It’s a bad investment and costly.
Look at this job-hunting checklist:
Spending time creating/editing a resume.
Writing and/or editing a tailored cover letter.
Paying a service to review your resume and critique your cover letter.
Researching the company, and or, who you are interviewing with before applying to ensure in your resume and letter you let the company know you read their stuff.
Preparing for interviews.
Ironing/dry cleaning interview clothes, buying makeup, getting a fresh haircut, etc. to ensure you look your best.
Online interviews (anywhere from 1 to 8).
Writing test, certification, or other pre-hiring screenings.
Driving to an in-person interview (gas/mileage/tolls).
Parking cost.
Travel and Interview time.
Imagine doing that checklist, only to have the company go in another direction. It’s demoralizing. What choice do job seekers have? None. Fall in line. Older generations went through this, new ones have to suffer through it, too.
Spending hours and fifty bucks on parking and tolls for an interview for a well-paying job is an affordable expense for some, but not most. What if the person applying for said job is unemployed? Forty dollars could be the difference between eating and not for a few days.
A company shouldn’t be allowed to make potential employees do a bunch of tricks before getting a treat, I mean paycheck. If a job requires more than two interviews, pre-hiring tests, or travel/parking costs, the employer should pay for the job candidate’s time and expenses. Woah. No. That job seeker is asking the employer for a job. The job candidate should be willing to do whatever it takes to get the job. Impress the employer. Jump through the hoops. Stand out. It’s a weird power dynamic. I consider myself a sexually enlightened person but submitting to outdated corporate processes isn’t my kink.
Endless Interviews
Endless interviews are becoming the norm, especially in the Zoom world. If a business can’t figure out if they want to hire someone after two interviews, don’t hire them. Full stop. I’ve met entire teams, made and performed presentations, and interviewed in person more than five times only to be told that I didn’t get the job. It’s a pretty inhumane way to treat a human.
If a company complains that there are no good workers, I assure you that 100% of the time it’s a bad company with impossible demands or expectations from employees. There are ALWAYS people willing to work. Every job I apply to on LinkedIn shows the number of candidates applying for the position. It’s always in the thousands.
Anything more than two interviews is too much. Any job that requires tests should pay employers for their time. It’s one of the only resources job seekers have during the job hunt.
Nobody Wants to Pay
Corporations are making record profits. Productivity has been at an all-time high. Salaries have been stagnant for fifty years. Americans can’t afford basic things like food and rent. What’s the point of working sixty hours a week if the paycheck doesn’t even cover the cost of living? Especially if it’s not a remote job. Commuting costs works 15% of their salary. Well, that’s only if you make $62,192 a year (the median annual American income). It costs Americans $9, 470 a year to get to their job. Next yearly review with your boss? Be sure to include a commuting cost in your raise ask. Oh, that’s right. You definitely won’t get that. The only raise for most workers is a pizza party or team-building event with your co-workers.
The whole “nobody wants to work” is a corporate tagline peddled by cost-saving businessmen and parroted by journalists. People want to work, but job seekers would rather struggle than be paid pennies on the dollar. Some employers don’t list salaries on job postings and require candidates to provide salary requirements. This allows employers to hire the lowest bidder. It’s disgusting. Every job should be required to post the salary. If you’re playing “cheap labor roulette” I hope you always get what you pay for.
Lack of Human Decency
I applied for a remote job and after three video interviews was asked to come in for an in-person interview. By this point, I still hadn’t been told the salary despite asking what it was during every conversation I had with the company. When I asked why I needed to come in for an interview I was told “(We’ve) never hired anyone we didn’t meet in person.” Once again (via email because I’m a millennial) I asked what the salary was. The response? “We can discuss it in person.” I ghosted that job. It wasn’t the right thing to do, but I refused to waste any more time. It felt gross. Slimy. Better to say nothing than to emotionally respond to some corporate clown. That’s like me selling a rare collectible online and not telling anyone how much it cost unless they came and saw it in person.
Why can employers play these games with no consequences? Oh right. Because I need some of their profits for my paycheck. And the best way to do that is to show blind loyalty and sacrifice. Don’t call out the bullshit. Head down. Play the game, find a way to get paid.
Another job wasted three interviews and a writing assessment worth of my time before telling me, “We went with someone we’ve worked with before. She is familiar with the brand. In fact, she was the second employee I hired, but she left the company during a move. As for additional feedback, if you really wanted the job, you would have sent a ‘Thank You Email’ within 24 hours of our interview. It’s common practice.”
So, this company posted a job that I had no shot at getting, but still drug me through the interview process and kicked me in the nuts with a snarky critique? Cool. And for the record, I thanked her for the privilege two days later. Not quick enough for her. Another bad boss avoided.
At least the company informed me of the hiring decision. Responding to people who aren’t hired should be mandatory for employers. Send a canned email, at the very least. If someone is applying to work at your company, they either really need money or like what they saw/read about your business. Maybe both. Just sending in an application doesn’t count. If you’ve done phone screenings or interviews, you better be upfront, honest, responsive, and decent to people. These people give you their time and effort. They deserve to hear from you. Even those you don’t hire. A great quote from Samuel Johnson is “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.”
Now What?
Any job that requires a test or anything outside of two interviews should compensate applicants for their time. Money is the only thing that matters in this world. Why is employed people’s time more valuable than the unemployed? It’s not like the unemployed aren’t working to try and get a steady paycheck. There’s a power imbalance. I’m sick of businesses being able to use job seekers' free time to fund their own corporate version of The Hunger Games. If traveling is required for an interview, employers should front that cost. Tolls, parking, and time. Why is someone needing money spending their limited cash supply before being potentially hired by a company? What happens when you commute to an interview and don’t get the job? Write it off on your taxes? This forces desperate people to make sacrifices, like skipping meals, just for a chance of getting paid. Just because it’s the way things work now, doesn’t mean it’s right. We need to give more power to the job seekers.
The problem with this is that people will always be willing to sacrifice and jump through endless hoops for a chance at paycheck. I’ve done it, and if things get much worse, I’ll do it again. But I shouldn’t have to. No one should.