"Boneless Wings" Are Nothing More Than Rebranded Chicken Tenders

What’s that perfect eating phenomenon where one eater enjoys flats and the other drumsticks? Wing Soulmates. Can’t have that with “boneless wings”.

In 2024, the National Chicken Council found that 53% of Americans preferred traditional wings over “boneless wings.” This is my plea to the 47% of America who are diluting the very meaning of wing eating by misidentifying “boneless wings”.

Also, who knew there was an American council of chickens, I mean, for chickens? And why are they spending money on wing research? Simple. Normalizing “boneless wings”.

A true wing is not just any piece of the bird. Oh no. It must be either a flat or a drumstick. Dark meat. If the piece of chicken lacks a bone or dark meat, can it be called a wing? Is it the meat that defines a chicken? Or the bone? This writer believes it’s both. It makes no sense that boneless wings exist, but across America, they do. But should they? Not if we’re following the science.

Boneless wings were invented sometime in the 1980s. Food companies needed a simpler, less messy alternative to the traditional bone-in chicken wing. That’s code for a more cost-effective and more pleasant alternative for those who disliked tearing meat off a dead animal. Could you sell chicken nuggets to adults in the 1980s? Not in the era of Stallone and Schwarzenegger.

What is a “boneless wing” even made of? Chicken breast. IMPOSTER! A chicken wing is dark meat. Boneless wings aren’t even made from the same part of the chicken. Even worse, “boneless wings” usually have more calories and fat content than real, traditional, and true chicken wings.

Strip away the clever marketing and “boneless wings” are nothing but overpriced adult-sized chicken nuggets. Sometimes tenders depending on the size. It matters. Adults ordering these “treats” haven't strayed far from the kids' menu, which is fine, but let’s not call something what it’s not and never will be.

Calling a “boneless wing” a wing when it lacks the fundamental anatomy of a wing, we dilute the very tradition of wing-eating. Sure, wing eating is messy, but it’s damn satisfying to rip meat from a bone. That’s definitely my Neanderthal DNA, but I’m not alone. Wing eating is as close to our ancestors’ living experience as many of us will ever get. It’s poetic, in a carnivore way, but also repulsive for the same reasons.

Have you ever heard of “boneless wing” soulmates? Of course you haven’t. It’s impossible. Wing Soulmates? A phenomenon where one eater enjoys flats and the other enjoys drumsticks. No fighting over the last piece of meat. No counting wings and eating quickly to ensure you get as many of your favorite part (drumsticks) before they’re gone. The wings are divided equally. And it doesn’t matter the gender, race, politics, or religion of your wing soulmate. Order ten wings or twenty. Grab a beer. Enjoy life for an hour knowing you and your wing soulmate are getting exactly what they want. Embrace the bone.

“Boneless wings” are nothing but chicken breast in disguise. If you want to be healthy, skip the “boneless wings” and go traditional. I understand those who won’t give up their “boneless wings” and I have no objections. We can eat what we want. That’s what freedom is. But let’s call “boneless wings” what they are: spicy chicken tendies or nuggies. There’s no such thing as “boneless wings”.