Hershey’s Mostly “Real" Chocolate Until 2027

I could be writing about the Iran War, that bizarre President Trump rant where he looked more like 2023 Joe Biden than 2015 Trump, or the Federal government easing marijuana restrictions while raising age limits for a national military draft, sure, Love how weed is suddenly alright when America need bodies to sacrifice for Suits’ future gains in a foreign land with resources. All of those are important topics. But in America we can’t even get the basic shit right. Like chocolate.

Due to the backlash of removing chocolate from its products, Hershey executives and decision makers (Suits) have agreed to put the chocolate back in their products. A chocolate factory removed chocolate from what the factory sells? That’s a head scratcher, but a real headline across the country today. What the hell was in Hershey’s chocolate if it wasn’t real chocolate?

How a Chocolate Factory Replaced Chocolate

In February, the grandson of the man who invented Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups wrote a letter accusing Hershey executives of changing the brand identity of his grandpa’s creation by swapping out real milk chocolate for compound coatings and peanut butter style cremes instead of real peanut butter. Hell yeah. Another American Patriot. I can’t vouch for the man, but fighting for real chocolate and real peanut butter in his grandfather’s chocolate peanut butter cup recipe is a hill worth dying on. That’s legacy. And a delicious friggin’ snack.

A month later, Hershey executives vowed to put real chocolate back in their chocolate products. Sorry, but not sorry that I keep writing the sentence. It’s absolutely absurd. What’s even crazier, is that these slime ball Suits said real chocolate would be restored in all product by 2027. Only in America can a chocolate factory substitute real chocolate for a carcinogen laced chemistry experiment in its products and get a year leeway to do it.

Would Hershey go back to real chocolate when inflation ended, if not called out? Survey says…. Absolutely not!

Did you know Hershey is under multiple class action lawsuits? Hershey executives avoided disclosing heavy metals, which could be cancer-causing and harmful to reproductive health, laced in their chocolate products? The law will tell us whether Hershey executives approved deceptive marketing or not, I’m sure.  It doesn’t mean every Hershey’s piece of Hershey’s chocolate is made with metals and fake chocolate, according to Hershey’s Suits, but through recent years the company’s leaders have established questionable view on what a chocolate factory should produce.  Maybe it’s simple to you Capitalist Swine, but I can’t wrap my head around it. Why would a company that produces chocolate substitute the product that made the company exist for over a hundred years?

Hershey’s Precious Profit Margins

Chocolate is the most expensive it’s ever been because of issues with cocoa crops in Africa. Chocolate is made in factories, but it grows in Africa. Who knew? Supply and demand grabbed chocolate makers by the balls. Is chocolate only made for the Elite? How will chocolate sales be affected in a price hike with the American people already gutted by shrinkflation and greed?

Without the substitute chocolate compound, chocolate prices for consumers would go up. Well, they’d be even higher than they are now. Pay more to create chocolate products or pivot and make a cheaper lab compound that tastes like chocolate? Simple answer for Suits when Hershey’s lost $1.3 billion in net profits in a single year. Take the chocolate out of the chocolate factory. Solves everything but the product quality, taste, and trust Hershey built over decades.

Hershey’s new slogan? Mostly chocolate.

According to Hershey’s Suits, Reese’s Peanut-Butter Cups never changed, but they tweaked the formulas for things with Reese’s Fastbreak, Reese’s Easter Eggs and about 3% of their products. Three percent isn’t very tangible. How’s $350 million worth of chocolate “products.” That means anywhere between 60 and 150 individual Hershey items are made mostly of chocolate. Cocoa prices were too high. Cuts needed to be made. Never to a Suits salary, but a chocolate company replacing chocolate with a cheaper alternative is pure capitalist evil.

This isn’t the only controversy around Hershey. Recent research and class-action lawsuits are harming the brand. Consumer Reports found high levels of lead and cadmium in Hershey's dark chocolate, or the use of Titanium Dioxide (banned in the EU) and TBHQ in 2024. These substances we’re eating? Super harmful to humans. Titanium Dioxide may disrupt hormonal response to food and dysregulating blood sugar levels, which can lead to diabetes, obesity and other health problems. So can too much chocolate, so that’s probably the play for the chocolate Suits when they’re on trial.

TBHQ extends shelf life in chocolate-style products and may be harmful to the immune system. Testing hasn’t even been completed on a product millions of Americans are swallowing. Ah. America. The biggest takeaway from this? Hershey’s seems to almost use mostly chocolate. Or at least most recently. Why use TBHQ to preserve chocolate-style products? What’s chocolate style? Why not just chocolate?

How to Buy Chocolate in America

I hate to give America homework, Lord knows I never did mine, but that’s because of more than laziness. Want to buy chocolate? First of all, congratulations. You’re at least middle class. The federal government does try and protect citizens in most cases. Wild coming from me, I know. If a chocolate company is using something other than cacao the product must labeled:

• Chocolate Candy
• Made with Chocolate
• Chocolaty Coating

Chocolaty isn't a typo either. The Food and Drug Administration forbids the use of chocolate as a noun if a chocolate liqueur to cocoa butter ratio isn't reached. If you see any of these terms on a “chocolate” product? You’re being scammed.

Hershey isn’t alone. The chocolate industry, either. Our country has bred a nation of data chasers and social media poll analyzers. The goal? Improve revenue and lower costs. The rest? Let it fall will it may. But America is catching on to the game. The taste of chocolate doesn’t show up on a spreadsheet. America noticed. Nice try, Suits.

Why does what’s inside a chocolate matter?

There was a viral video of Hershey chocolate bending and flopping, not melting from heat, just turning rubbery. Chocolate influencers are branding this #MeltGate and doing their own experiments to see if corporate lab chocolate melts. I can’t wait for the day that every investigation doesn’t get the word “Gate” on it. Stupid, but having chocolate that doesn’t melt seems like flex to me. Fuck you M&Ms, Hershey’s chocolate doesn’t melt in your hands… or a fire. Whether or not it’s real chocolate is another story.  It could also explain why the chocolate doesn’t melt under direct heat. Because when chocolate factories use compound coatings from labs instead of real chocolate it causes the "chocolate product" to be rubbery and bendy. It won't break or melt. Ha. And I got a 38 in Chemistry class.

While silly, stupid, and not important to some, this is how social media can be used to evoke change. It’s more than hunting clicks, triggering rage, or pushing product. Not that any of this matters. I’m a Milky Way man, myself. I’m sure Mars, Inc. has never been surrounded by controversy.

Wait.

The Milky Way was designed in 1923 specifically to look larger than a Hershey bar for the same price. The trick? Filling the bar with mostly whipped air and sugar making it less expensive (less cocoa butter) while offering a bigger physical product. You know what? Never mind. What if I focused on more important things than chocolate.